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AMES' SERIES OF 

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No. 270. 




-OR 



The Barter Pards. 



{SKETCH.) 



ITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF 

THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND 

THK WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAREFULLY 

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2 

m 

39 

r\ 

inn 

113 
226 

14 
1«1 
lfil 

m 

IV) 

17:! 
143 
176 

ir>2 

2*5 

117 
207 
52 

HI 

•»r> 
191 

194 

3 

2R1 

""7 

211 

251 

163 

91 

36 

34 

229 

R1 
S5 
R8 

196 

29 
18 
10 
45 
79 

144 
K7 
97 

119 

2^2 
92 

112 
"1 

105 

rk. 



M. K. 

DRAMAS. 

A De°«em^« Game 3 2 

After To" Years 7 R 

A Life's R^vense 7 5 

Arrah d« Bangh 7 R 

Aii'-o<--. F1(»v«l 7 " 

Auld Robin (four 2* v ; B 

Rw«ju*v of "Lyons 1 i 2 

Rill Detriek 7 3 

Rrac, the P^orHouse Girt.... 4 4 

Brigands of Caiah™ fi i 

nonn; or. Love's Victory H ."> 

Dora S 2 

Driven to the Wall W 3 

Drivm from Home 7 < 

Fast Lvnue B 7 

F migrants Daughter B " 

Factory Girl 6 3 

Fieldinp Manor f » 6 

Hov^o'* Vindication 3 3 

Hal Hazard. 95c 10 3 

Heroic Dutchman of '76 B •"> 

ir-Mir- Grnnd«n H « 

n nw He Did Tt 3 9 

Hidden Treasures 4 2 

Hunter of the Alps 9 » 

Hidden Hand 15 7 

Lights -nd Shadows or the 

Great Rebellion, 25c 19 S 

Lady of Lvon« 12 5 

Ladv Audlev'fi Secret ft 4 

Lost in London 6 -1 

Man and Wife '2 7 

Maud's peril R •' 

Midnurht Mistake r > 2 

Millie, tlie Quadroon 4 i 

Miriam's Prime 5 2 

Michael RrTe B 3 

Miller of Derwent Water 5 2 

Mistletoe LoiMi 

Mountebanks (The) 6 2 

Old Honestv 

Old Phi"« Rirthday 

Outcast's Wife 1" 3 

Out on the World 5 4 

Ofith Bound 6 2 

Painter of Ghent 5 3 

Poacher's Doom 8 3 

Reverses 12 6 

Rock Atlen 5 3 

Spv of Atlanta, 25c 11 3 

Thekla 9 4 

The F.,T«o Friend 6 1 

The Fatal Mow 7 1 

The Fo'-tv-Niners 10 4 

The Dutch Recruit ?"p 14 3 

The Gentleman in' Black 9 4 

The "New Masrda.Ten 

The Reward of Crime 5 3 

Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 



N<>. M. I 

7 The Vow of the Ornani 7 1 

•Jul Ticket of Leave Man 9 ■' 

193 Toodles 7 2 

200 Uncle Tom's Cabin In 7 

121 Will-o'-the-Wisi 9 4 

41 Won at Last 7 3 

192 ZiOB 7 4 

TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 

7:1 At Last 7 1 

75 Adrift 5 4 

187 Ann' Dinah's Pledge (i 3 

254 Dot: the Miner's Daughter... 9 5 

202 Drunkard |The| 13 5 

185 Diunkar 's Warning 6 3 

189 Drunkard's Doom 15 5 

181 Fifteen fears of a Drunk- 
ard's Life 13 4 

183 Fruits of the Wine Cup 6 3 

104 Lost 6 2 

146 Our Awful Aunt 4 4 

53 Out in the Streets 6 4 

51 Rescued 5 3 

■ ed 2 3 

102 Turn of the Tide 7 4 

63 Three Glasses a Day 1 2 

62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 3 

58 Wrecked 9 3 

COMEDIES. 

his A Pleasure Trip 7 3 

136 A Legal Holiday 5 3 

121 An Afflicted Family 7 5 

":.7 ''audit in the Act ~ 3 

I fi 4 

•• 3 

199 Home 

171 Love's Labor Not Lost 3 3 

• r Fears in X. Y 7 6 

t So Lad After All 6 5 

237 Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 3 

126 Our Daughters 8 6 

114 Passions 8 4 

219 Rags and Pottles 4 1 

ale with Sharps and Flats.. 3 2 

221 Solon Shinele 14 2 

S7 The Liter Lit 3 2 

249 $2,000 Reward 2 

TRAGEDIES. 

16 The Serf 6 3 

FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS. 

129 Aar-n-ag-ooa 2 1 

132 Actor and Servant 1 1 

12 A Capital Match 

166 ATexan Mother-in-Law 4 6 

30 \ Dav Well Spent 7 5 

Regular Fix 2 4 

80 Alarmingly Suspicious 4 .1 

78 An Awfi 1 Criminal 3 3 



jG 



SLICK AND SKINNER, 



OR- 



THE BARBER PARDS, 

AN ORIGINAL SKETCH 

IN ONE ACT, 

— BY— 
Ad. H. Gibson; 

Author of "That Awful Carpet Bag." 



TO WHICH IS ADDED — — 

A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- 
ENTRANCES AND EXITS-RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 
PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



Filtered according to act of Congress in the year 1889, by 
AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 
k> thiofi^cc of tie Librarian of Congress at Washiii L 

— 

■clvbb, oh,o:_ 3*yj; u- 

AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 



\"% " 






SLICK AXD SKIXXER 



OAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Sam Slick A pretender at the barbering arc 

Bob Skinner ^A hair dresser of expt Hence" 

A Woman's Rights Woman A burlesque character 

Hans A raw Dutchman 

Sambo A darkey with a powerful nose 






Cast of Characters as played at Star Valley, Kansas, 1SSO. 



-X- 



Stlick George Baird 

Skinner .. . Ad. Gibson 

Woman L. 8. Pickering 

Hans Henry Graham 

Sambo Ed Satihi 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R., means Light; L., Left; R. h., Eight Hand; l. h.. Left Hand: o., Centro; 3. u; 
(2d E.,) Second Entrance; u. e., Upper Entrance; m. n„ Middle Door; v., tiio l^Ut; 
V. F„ Door in Flat; e. C, Right of Centre; l. c, Left of Centre. 

«. R. C. C. L. C. r, 

V* The reader is supposed to he upon the Stage facing the audience 



TMP92-009268 



Slick and Skinner; or The Barber Pards. 

. i 
SCENE T—A little mom fitted up rr.<? a barber shop— My rickety chair , 
for customers, ivith a piece of old suspender attached for sharpening , 
the razor — small table on which are papers, bottles, a huge comb 
and an immense razor with wooden handle. On the floor, near the 
chair, is a bucket or large tin pan of flour and water mixed to a 
thick paste for lather — big whitewash brush is in the bucket. 

Sam Slick discovered walking restlessly about stage. 

Slick. I've been adverrisin' in the Javhnwktr Rip-roarer fur a 1 ' 
pard tor help me in the barber business; but it seems like as if no- 
body is gwine ter turn up in answer to it. Half de blamed fools ob; 
dis yarth don't know a s;ood oiler when dev see it. It I could only 
git a boss hair cutter now, I'd be all solid as de best darned barber 
in (lis wild woolly town. 

Skinner, (looking in at door) Hello! Anybody at home or all 
gone fishin' ? 

Slick. I'm de boss ob dis roost. Come in! 

Enter, Bob Skinner, r. — looks around. 

Skinner. Pnrty neat lookin' shebang! Say. be you Sam Slick— 
de feller what stuck a notice in de 7?ip-roarer fur a pard? 

SHck: lam. Are you do feller? 

Skinner. I am that ha'rpin, ye lest better twitter. I reckon ye 
want a good pard ? 

Slick. Yes: flat's my want perzactly ! What's yer name? 

Skinner. Bob Skinner ! Sav, don't you think "Slick an' Skinner" 
will look powerful elegant and suggestive stuck up fur a sign to dis 
here shebang? i 

SUck. That's what! But have you had any experience, Skinner? 

Skinner. What kind ob experience? 

Slick. Oli. fxi) 'M-ienee in anv way, at any place? 

Skinner. Bet yer sweet life ! Yes, I've had dead-boodles ob it! 

Slick. Give us a squint at yer exnerience! 

Skinner. Waal, I've been ehintz-buf<red in Tl'noy, white-capped; 
in Injiany, blizzarded in Dakoty, bald-knobbered in Rackensack,! 
puked out ob Mizzoury an' last an' worst ob all, I was boomered out 
ob Oklahomy ! 4 

Slick. You've had a remarkable experience*, but do you know^ 



4 SLICK AKD SEINXE1Z. 

what'll bo yer sad experience in Kansas? 
k Skinner. Gib it up! 

Slick. You'll be prohibited! 
' Skinner. Oh, I kalkilate I kin manage dat all 0. K. ! 

SUck. HOW SO? or,, 

■ Skinner. Why, jest git it shipped in as axle-grease or St. Jacob s 
lie ! I'm up ter that dodge ! But say— what 'bout our goin' pardsl 
Slick. You'll suit me perzactly! I have razors, aprons, towels 
and latherin' outfit here, an' dis chair. What have you ? 

• Skinner. I have scissors— de berry daddy ob all de scissors, (pro- 
duces pair of wooden shears about a foot and a half long) See anything 
obdemair? (displaying them to Slick) Won't dem strike de wild 
and woollv west 'bout right? 

• Slick. Dey will dat! Dey 're prime fellers, I tell you ! 
Skinner. I'll tell you what, Slick ! Let's go cohoots! I'll lure 

>em in to git shaved ; I'll do the lathering, while you kin scrape off 
tie bristles! 

Slick. Dat will suit me! 

Skinner. What'll be our terms— pay in advance? 

Slick. Yes; dat's business! 

Skinner. Whar's de nails to hang up our customers' duds on 
-while we're fixin' 'em up in style? 

Slick. Oh, we'll git on widout nails ! 

Skinner. All right ! We'll jest find a soft slab on de floor to hang 
lip de apparel on. 

Slick. I belehe you're a plumb genius, Skinner! You beat all 
creation an' part ob New Jersey ! 

Skinner. Nothin' like bavin' lots ob experience; but, say — don't 
de women folks do a little votin' out here in Kansas? 

Slick. Yes; an' some ob de bossy sort would like to do lots ob it; 
rule, boss, knock down an' drag out all de game fellers. 

Skinner. I've been a notin' down dat fact since I arrived in de 
state. I've noticed some ob de women folks ob dis wild town would 
like to wear de breeches mighty bad — a bossy, meddlin', tattlin' set 
that must make marriage an all fired sad failure for de poor delicate 
husbands, who stay at homewid cle kids to sing dis touchin' lullaby: 
(sings or speaks) ''Home, home, blighted home; my wife's wearing 
"breeches has soured my sweet home." 

Slick. Day's as much truth as poetry in that, pard ! 

Skinner. Say, look over dar across de street! (pointing off l.) 
See dat big feminine gender over dar? 

Slick, (looking off l.) Yes; who is she? 

Skinner. She's a reg'lar she-ro, teeth an' toe nails, an' she'd give 
her woman's kingdom here on yarth to wear de panterloons ob mas- 
culine power in dis town. She tackled me at a hash shop 'cross cle 
street dis mornin'. She's a manish creetur, an' de whole town is 
tick ob her meddlin', 1 was told. Let's teach her a lesson, pard, an' 
learn her to keep her place. 

Slick. How'll we doit? 

Skinner. Seein' as she wants to wear de breeches so mighty bad, 
an' fill a man's shoes, let's give her a free shave for nothin' I 

Slick. Agreed ! But how'll we manage it? 

Skinner. Easy enough ! I'll go out an' tell her dar's a man here 
Wishes to discuss politics wid her. She's so all fired cranky, she'll 



SLICE AND SKINNEB. 5 

come a windin' to talk on dat subject. We'll manage to get her into 
de chair somehow, an' while I slap on de lather, you give her a 
shave. 

Slick. All right! invite her in! 

Skinner exits l. — he is heard speaking outside— " Walk in, madam; a 
gentleman wishes to discuss politics with you." A shrill voice is 
heard in answer: "Discuss politics, you say f All right; I'll go. 
Where is he?" 

Skinner, (outside) This way, madam ! 

Enter, Skinner, j..— followed by a big coarse woman, dressed in 
burlesque fashion. 

Woman, {looking about her) Where's the man who wanted to 
talk politics with me? 

Slick. Here 1 am, madam ! What do you think ob de political 
issues ob de day ? 

Skinner. What's your ideas on prohibition, madam? 
Woman. Well, 1 think every fool ought to be prohibited. 

Slick. A level-headed remark, that, madam ! 

Woman. Who says a woman can't talk politics as well as a man? 
I claim they're keener-witted an' kin talk much freer. 

Skinner. No doubt — no doubt, madam ! The tongue has had a 
heap more experience. 

Woman. What do you mean by that remark, young man ! 

Skinner. Nothin' ! Nothin' at all, ma'am! Here, take this chair 
—be calm ! A person should keep perfectly cool in chattin' politics ! 

Slick and Skinner force her into the chair — the action must be very 
quick. Skinner throws an apron around her neck, and amid the 
woman's kicks and yells, he begins to lather her face with the white- 
wash brush in the pan if paste. Slick begins with his huge razor, 
to shave the woman, who pours out upon them a torrent of wrath 
with her tongue. They compel her to sit for a Jew minutes, while 
this ludicrous scene takes place — then she manages to upset chair 
and Slick — general business on the floor — Skinner makes a dive 
to recapture her, but she eludes him and goes sailing out at the 
door — Skinner arranges chair and all that has been disarranged in 
the struggle. 

Slick, (getting up) By jingo, pard, she's a tough one! She gave, 
me a tumble I'll remember. I wonder if she'll go an' get out a war- 
rant for our arrest? 

Skinner. iS'o danger ob dat, pard — de poilceman knows her too 
well to pay any attention to her gab? If she tells dem we tried to 
shave her, they'd jest laugh an' say it was tothcr way — she wanted a 
shave, but we wouldn't give it; savy, eh? 

Slick. All right! Just so the reputation of our shop is saved. 
Look out and see if we haven't another customer eomin'. 

Skinner, (looking up street, l.) Bet your granny's night-cap 
strings daris! It's a reg'lar sauerkraut dutch, too! .Now for some 
lim! 



5 SLICK AND SKINNER. 

Enter, Hans, a big, fat Dutchman — carrying a large valise— he h 
munching a cookey — stares about him in a green, awkward 
fashion. 

Skinner. Ilello, Dutchy ! 
, Slick. How are you, Mr. Sauerkraut? 

The Dutchman preserves a stolid sort of silence — eating and staring 

about him. 

Skinner. Don't you speak English, Bisuiark? 

Hans. Yon leetle bit English speak. 

Skinner. Anything we can do for you to-day, Bismark? 

Hans. Vot you fellers do mit dis shop, hey? 

Skinner. We shave anything here, from a skinned mule to a 
man's purse. 

Slick. Have a shave? 

Hans. Veil, I don't care if I do taken some shave- dot is, if you 
have von leetle bit of shave dot cost me not so much as tri cent. 

Slick. All right! Jest set your valise down an' take dis chair. 
(►Skinner takes the valise and sets it aside 

Hans. But I don't vant some chair for mine valises. 

Slick. You don't understand ! Jest sit down in dischair; your 
valise is sate. Come, sit down ! Stir up de lather, parcl ! 

Hans. Oh, dot Vey, hey ? {sits) I thought you fellers vas trying 
to play a trick on me, because I vas a leetle bit not at home a'ready 
in America. 

Skinner has set the valise back of Hans, and is now stirring the 

lather. 

Skinner. We wouldn't be guilty of play in' a trick on yon, Bis- 
mark; but you'd better keep your eyes peeled for buffalo an' 
antelope out here on dese Kansas prairies, or dey may take you for 
a new species in de vegetation line jest sprung up, an' swaller you 
whole. 

Hans. Dot is a funny feller. He make me much vant to laugh 
mine sides off at his talk. What he speak ? Dot new language 'i 

Slick, '(pinning apron on Hans) Volapuk, you mean? 

Hans. Yah! Dot is him! I not onderstand him some much. 

Skninner. Keep your clam shell closed now, dutch}' ! 

Skinner puts on the lather vigorously with the brush — Hans makes 
wry faces and squirms uneasily. 

— Keep your eyes shut, too! 

Skinner puts on the lather, while Slick opens Hans' valise — finds a 
sack of cookies and begins to eat — then Skinner goes to valise — 
gets cake and eats. 

'. Slick. Y r ou must keep still! Don't get impatient ! We always 
give de lather time to work in. 

Hans. Yah! I keeps mine eyes shut tight up, an' rest me von 
leetle bit. 

Slick. Dat's right! We'll take our time, an' do a much better 
job for you. 



SLICK AND SKINNER. 7 

Skinner eats atony, as he 'investigates the contents of 'Hans' valise— - 
.Slick sharpens his razor on the piece of suspender fastened to the 
back of the chair — then begins shaving slowly — stopping ever and 
anon to eat cookies. Skinner unfolds large red flannel drawers, 
and holds up to view of audience — he shows a notion to put them 
on, but concludes not to do .so fust then. There can be many 
strange articles in valise with which to do business for the enter- 
tainment of the audience. Last of all he unjolds a big white 
night-gown — this he quickly puts on, and exhibits himself freely , 
singing: "Oh, my long white robe, dat I bought last June; 
Pse gwine to git changed, 'ca'se it jits too soon." 

SlicJc. Here, paid, slap on some more lather— quick ! 

Skinner grabs the brush and lathers Hans vigorously, making the 
night-gown sail out behind him — as he finishes lathering, he gives 
Hans a quick poke in the stomach, with the long handle of the 
brush. 

Mans. Och, mine Got inHimmel! Vot is der matter mit mine 
bump? I have von speil of der morbus cholery, I think! 

Slick. Never mind ! Now keep your eyes shut an' you'll be done 
up in style in a jiffy ! . 

Skinner slips around, closes the valise and hides it under the table. 

Hans, (groan?) Och, mine bump dot is so much tender! i 

(rubs the injured part 
Slick. Keep your eyes shut! (strikes a match) Now hold still ! 

Approaches Hans — applies lighted match to his nose — Hans jumps as 

if he we re shot — rushes out, one hand to his bump and one to his 

nose, never pausing for hat or valise. 

Skinner Dat was a pretty slick job! 

Slick. Yes; but lie made oft" wid one ob my best aprons! 

Skinner. Wei!, we've got his valise an' whole kit — dat will be a 
Soothin' plaster tor all losses. 

Slick. I wonder who'll be our next? 

Skinner. I see a darkey crossing de street. I reckon he's comin' 
here. Yes, he's turnin' in! Now let's enforce our rules ! Let's 
make him pay in advance! 

Slick. All right! Y T ou manage that! 

Skinner. I'm just de buzz saw an' curry comb combination as 
can do it, pard ! 

Slick. Sail in on him den; I've de sand to back you! 

Enter, Sambo, l., with a long, black nose made of pasteboard and at- 
tached to a woolly wig. 

Skinner. Hello, sir ! 
Sambo. Sambo, sah ! 
Skinner. Some work done dis mornin', Sambo? 
Sambo. Yes, Loss; I want a shave an' a hair-cut. 
Skinner. All right! We'll fix you over like a long tongued mil- 
liner does an old bonnet, an' make a bran new darkey ob you! 



~8 SLICK AND SKINNER. 

Sambo. Golly! It clone beats cle world what some folks can 
'complish ! 

j Skinner. Say, Sambo, would you like to be a white man? 
i Sambo. Golly, yes! I'd give lebcnteen barrels ob sorghum to be 
a white man ; but you can't change a darkey. 

Skinner. Oh, yes we can, Sambo! We've jest discovered a new 
process by which a darkey can become as white as anybody. 

Sambo, (to Slick) Ciimeny! Is dat so, mistah ? 

Slick. Yes, you can belebe all he tells you. He's a wonderful 
man ; he used to distribute Bible tracts among the Indians. 

Sambo, (eying Skinner) Jeeminy ! I wouldn't think, boss, 
you'd settle down into a barber shop after all such great experience. 

Skinner. Well. Sambo, I wish to do all de good I can to poor, 
sufierin' mankiiftf. While among de Injuns I found an herb which, 
if used by an experienced hand, can makj a nigger as white as a 
ghost. £ have it chemicalized an' all ready right here. If you 
want to be made white, jest pay down eighteen dollars, an' we'll 
send you home so your friends won't know you ! It's a wonderful 
thing! 

Sambo. Eighteen dollars ! Golly ! I hain't half dat much money ! 

Skinner. How much have you ? 

Sambo, (counting money) I jest got two dollars an' lebenteen 
cents, 'zactly ! 

Skinner. Well, Sambo, I'll tell you what we'll do ! Give me 
dat money, an' after you're made into a white man, you can pay de 
rest in sorghum ! How'll dat suit you? 

Sambo, (hesitating!.}/) De ole woman sorter wanted a new ban- 
danna an' a fine tooth comb; but I reckon if your chemicals will 
make me a white man, I can 'ford it. (gives Skinner money 

Skinner. Here, take this chair ! 

Sambo sits — Slick puts apron on Sambo, while Sk-inner puts on 

lather. 

Skinner. Any danger of injnrin' your complexion wid soap? 
Sambo. Yes, sah ! right smart, sah ! De ole woman never lets 
me use any ob her soap. 

Slick begins to shave — Skinner flourishes his huge, wooden scissors. 

Skinner. Close cut, Sambo? 

Sambo. Yes. boss ! 

Skinner. Pompadour? 

Sambo. Pompy which? 

Skinner. All right! I understand what style will suit your 
tastes. 

Slick, (aside to Skinner) I wish he'd find it convenient to put 
dat confounded nose ob his in his pocket until I git him shaved ! 

Skinner, (aside to Slick) Is it in your way, pard? 

Slick, (aside to Skinkkr) Greatly so! 

Skinner, (aside to Slick) I'll fix R for you ' 

Sambo. Say, boss, am I gittin' any whiter? 



SLICK AND SKIN NEB. 5 

Skinner. Oh, yes! De chemicals are workin' like a charm. 

You'll soon be as white as Mary's little lamb. Jest hold still ! De 

success ob tie metamorphosis depends on de exercise ob great nerve 

force. 

Skinner takes the powerful nose of Sambo between his scissors, and, 
amid the agonizing screams of Sambo saws away at his nose — at 
last nose and wig yield to the barber, who holds them up triumph- 
antly on his scissors before the audience — Sambo should act as ij 
the operation was very painful. As Skinner holds wig and nose 
up, Sambo springs from Slick's grasp — catches Skinner, who is 
still in the night-gown, and scats him right in the pan of paste — 
then he rushes at Slick, sending him sprawling, and escapes. 
Skinner rises slowly from pan — the paste dripping from the night- 
gown — he surveys it critically — nods his head— shakes the wi{> and 
nose aloft un his scissors. 

CURTAIN, 

THE END- 



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A darkey servant has an imaginary illness, and the 

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MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

A LAUGHABLE SKETCH. 

A BED-ROOM SCENE! MUSTARD HAS TAKEN A RISXt 

"WHEBE IS THE F10UMP 



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*vC —f «• ■»— ^v 

SYNOPYSIS. 

£ CT i._£cene 1st.— Betty's opinion of the one bad boy— Mr. 
Peck decides to take a new wife— Interview between Mr. Peek and 
Henry bad boy No. 1.— "Either be good or go to the woodshed in 
company with your father and a shingle." Mrs. Arabella Smith, 
the future Mrs. Peck, and her son Johnny, bad boy No. 1. Henry 
plays tricks on Johnny— Amusing scene between the two bad boys. 
Bad boy No. 1 puts cards in his father's pocket— Astonishment of all 
parties when he discovers them— "My views exactly !"— Bad boys 
plavs tricks on their parents— Mrs. Smith faints as fire crackers go 
off Scene ^.—Solomon Isaacs, a Jew— Miss Aubrey, the new gov- 
erness, and the minister. Scene 3d.— The bad boys at the grocer's— 
Lots of fun— play jokes on customers, etc.— They put up a job on 
Mr Peck in which he comes out second* best. Scene 4th. — Mr. 
Peck's return home from the grocery— Meets Miss Aubrey— His 
version of the storv. Scene 5ih.— The wedding— Bad boys stay at 
home— Put placards on Mr. Peck and Mrs. Smith's back, "To be 
given away 1"— "To be sold!"— Mr. Peck returns in a rage, and is 
received by two Indians— A laughable scene— Mrs. Peck takes 
Johnny across her knee. 

Act II.— Scene lst.—Mi Sin's laundry— Betty receives a proposal 
from Ah Sin— Henry and Johnny run the laundry iu Ah Sin's ab- 
sence—Solomon Isaac's washing— Return of Ah Sin— An amusing 
scene— Boys put the Chinaman in the tub. Scene 2d.— Bad boys 
get their father to consent to join a secret society, the "Ancient 
Order of Hoodlums," in which McCracken's big goat is to play a 
Dart Scene 3d.— Miss Aubrey and Mrs. Smith— A picnic in con- 
templation-Miss Aubrey and Betty old school mates-Schoolroom- 
Bovs with Ah Sin take a lesson— "What is a bullock?"— Ah Sin, "A 
smallee bull."— Mr. Peck is initiated into the mysteries of the 

Act III —Scene 1st. — Chinaman and Solomon Isaacs. Scene Sd. — 
The picnic— Tramps— Song— Speeches— Boys do their part to make 

it interesting. 

Act IV —Scene 1st.— Mr. Peck returns from the rink somewhat 
intoxicated— Gives the boys his ideas of temperance— iioys get him 
to learn them to skate— A laughable scene, on which the Reverend 
Baxter appears— All try to run off. Scene ^.-Solomon Isaacs and 
one bad boy. Scene 3d.— A new version of Uncle lom's Cabin is 
played— Bad boys take prominent parts— Eva— Grand transformation 
Bcene— Tableau. 



YES t WE THINK IT WILL PLEASE YOU, 
THIS NEW DRAMA ENTITLED 



Brae: the Pnnr 

House GdrlT 



It will please your audience at least if it is presented well. The character of BRAC» 
is very much like "FANCHON THE CRICKET,"— is replete with 

RICH AND SPARKLING DIALOGUE, 

FUNNY AND TELLING SITUATIONS, 
DARE-DEVIL EXPLOITS, ETC., 

and worthy the best talents of the best ladies. The beauty of the play is, that it is 
entirely original, the acts and scenes not being found in a dozen other plays, but 
only this one. The leading man, Hob Wilder, is a gentl«nan of leisure, who be 
comes smitten with Brae, and in order to play the part, should be able to sing and 
perhaps dance too— although it is not positively necessary. Th«.'re is a very funny 
old maid's part, which if played well will certainly "bring down the house." 

All the other characters 3 males, 2 females, are telling ones. To please the average 
audience of to-day, a play must bo selected with a nice construction of sentiment and 
mirth. This play fills the requirements w 'e believe. 

Send for specimen copy and see if it is not just what you want. 

Time of playing 2 hours. Price 15 cents 

NO CHARGE IS MADE FOR ITS USE— PERFORMANCE FREE. 



NEW MILITARY DRAMA! 

THE CONFEDERATE SPY, 

BY ELLSWORTH STEEDMAN. 

SEND 15 CENTS FOR SAMPLE COPY. 



If you want broad fun! fun that will make you laugh 
and snort! fairly get up and howl and hold 

your sides! — buy a copy of 
BERT RICHARDS FAROE-COMEDY, ENTITLED 

A ttend to this at once and live longer and happier. Pricel5o 



uhama Vb 1 HE SOUTH. JUST PUBLISHED. 

MILLIE,™ QUADROON; 



•o~<$ OR, -£-.<>.__ 



A DRAMA IN FIVE ACTS, BY LIZZIE MAY FT WYK 
AUTHOR OF DOT; THE MINER'S DAUqItSb"' 
ORDER A COPY-ONLY 15 CENTS. 

ACT I-Scene lst.-Home of Fred Grover-Priscilla Fred'! 

c lH m of aT?S£& retl . ,rn fl ;? m n the So " th -His praenj to FttL' 
cilia, of Gyp a "nttle nigger"— Gyp dances— Millie's horror of 

Bla 7?JZT?yP 8ha PP ilie8S -§ong and dance. 

MUlie^ dTn^^^T 8 of f cousin Charlie, an old lover of 
Millie s— Cxyp and Siah's soda water, an amusing scene— Priscilla 
her horror of being kissed by "a man"-Millie vindicates herself bv 
revealing the secret of her life to Charlie, which is heard by Davilll 
-Gyp-Meeting of Millie and Daville-Daville reveals Millie's se- 
cret to Isadore his betrothed-Comic scene between Gyp and slab 

Mm?p til Irn / } 6 f'^ Ev ^ 1 clesigns of Daville and Isadore- 
MilLe, the child of old Harriet, the slave-Meeting of Isadore and 
Harriet, her threat, "You are my child --Isadore attempts her mur- 
der by pushing her over the cliff; she is rescued by Daville— Isadore 
reveals her love for Fred, which Millie and Charlie oyerhear-Millie's 
anguish and fina blow-«No wife, aslave !"-Quarrel of Daville and 
Charlie-Isadore's search for the body of old Harriet. Scene 2d.— 
Escape of Charlie— A piece of Priscilla's mind-Her promise to 
Millie-Oath of Isadore— Millie's flight. Scene 3d.-Daville gives an 
account of the shooting and supposed flight of Millie with Charlie— 

SeTeN YEARS iettle-SUPP ° SedSUiCide ° f Milllie ~ A LAPSE OF 
ACT IV.— Scexe 1st.— Daville accuses Isadore, now Mrs. Grover. 
of Harriet s murder-Millie, as Sister Agnes, the French governess- 
Return of Charlie— Fred's anger and Priscilla's interference. Scene 
2d.— Charlie disguised as old Nathan— Millie's letter found which 
$?£. ains J!. er . fli - ht — Fred ' s remorse— Daville and Isadore recognize 
Millie— 1 heir plot against her discovered bv old .Nathan. 

ACT V.— Scene 1st.— Southern Plantation— Priscilla discovers 
bister Agnes, as Millie— Her anger at being kissed by a nia-<r er — 
Daville threatens Isadore with slavery— Attempted murder of Pris- 
cilla— Scene between Gyp and Siah. Scene 2d.— Millie a slave— 
Daville offers her marriage— Millie tied to the whipping post— Her 
rescue by Gyp. Scene 3d.— Millie and Gyp in the swamp— At- 
tempted capture— Rescued by Charlie— Old Harriet clears the mys- 
tery of Millie and Isadore's birth— "There is but one way left. 
dea , t 5^ Arresfc of Daville— Death of Charlie— Keconciliation of Fred 
•ad Millie, who is freed from btadftga. 



JUST PUBLISHED! 

A SPARKLING COMEDY. 
Adapted from the French for M'Ue 
Marie Aimee, by Newton 
Chisnell, an actor and 
author well known 
in the dramatic 
profession. 




ORDER A COPY. 
It has the original cast 
of characters as produced 
for the first time on any 
stage, at San Francisco, CaL, un- 
der Mr. Chisnell's personal management. 

e*aojil^i f ii * « 

ORDER AND READ A COPY— ONLY 15«. 
Time of Representation — 2 hours. 



SYNOPSIS. 



Act I.— A French cafe— "Cigars, beer, ham sandwiches !"— The 
man with the toothache — Mrs. Johnson, who has "smelled a mouse," 
in search of her husband, who finds it difficult to love only one 
woman — Adonis Montague, the 14th street masher — Mr. Johnson 
flirts with the veiled lady — Lifts the veil, "my wife!" — The agree- 
ment, "a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye." "If I catch you, 
look outl" — Mr. Johnson waiting for Evelena, is discovered by Mrs. 
Johnson — "Caught!" — "Remember the agreement!" — Mr. Johnson's 
horror of what his wife may do, as she is a French woman — The 
assistance of Montague, etc. 

Act II. — Home of Mr. Johnson — Return of Mrs. Johnson, a des- 
perate woman — Mr. Johnson's arrival with peace offerings — "Noth- 
ing but a full confession." — His confession — "She was only a 
pock-marked music scholar," and swears they only got as far as "do, 
re, me, fa, sol, la, si, do, do, si, la, sol, fa, me, re, do." — A cyclone 
in the bedroom — Adonis Montague arouses Mr. Johnson's jealousy — 
Medical students arrive— "Mr. Johnson!" — "Scoot, brother, scoot!" 
Mr. Johnson locks his wife in the house, not aware of the students 
being hid in the rooms, and departs f«r the ball, as he leads the 
orchestra — Mrs. Johnson and students escape through window and 
start for the ball. I 

Act III.— Dr. Boliver's ball — A mistake of Flip's, the usher. 
Arrival of Mrs. Don't-bother-me, New York Clipper and the Water- 
mellon brothers — The dance — Mr. Johnson recognizes Mrs. Don't- 
bother-me as his wife — "No more music unless she stops dancing!" 
She does not know that "shabby fiddler" — "Put him out, he is 
drunk!" — Out he goes — Return of Mr. Johnson disguised as a 
waiter— The threat — Mrs. Johhson angry and decides to run away — 
Mr. Johnson relates a funny story of a repentant lobster — He at- 
tempts suicide— He is forgiven— Advice of a repentant lobster. 

Ames' Publishing Co., 

frock Box 102. CJtISS, OHIO. 



*; Just Out! A Drama in Six Acts, hj Lizzie May Elwyn, s» 

Entitled, 



PW" ' ■■: ■ l^llll¥ljll 



-OR- 



The Flower Girl of New York. 



SYNOPSIS. 

ACT I— Scene I— Interior of Rogues' Rookery. Car- 
los Dare reveals the secret of Sweetbrier' s parentage to his 
friend Mike — Ralph Lindsey — Alice discovers that her 
child is alive — Sweetbrier and her foster father — Death o£ 
Carlos Dare. 

ACT II— Scene I— Home of Silas Hunter— Moses 
and the letter — Mr. and Mrs. Hunter — The lost spec- 
tacles — Nancy won't be bossed by city folks — Mr. Lind- 
sey's surprise and arrest of Hendricks — Carlos Dare's con- 
fession — Nancy and Moses — Arrival of Sweetbrier — Inez 
meets an old friend — Earl discovers her secret and breaks, 
their engagement — Green cucumbers. 

ACT III — Scene I-Ideas of Moses-Sweetbrier an un- 
loved wife — Hendricks threatens Sweetbrier, "Unhand me 
villain !" — Inez and Earl — Murder of Hendricks — Arrest 
of Sweetbrier-Inez declares Sweetbrier guilty — Escape of 
Sweetbrier. 

ACT IV — Scene I — Interview between Mr. Lindsey 
and Earl — Earl discovers his parentage — Inez — Uncle Si- 
las' dream— What became of Sweetbrier ? "Was she 
drowned ?" — Discovery of papers — Carlos Dare's confes- 
sion found — Death of Lindsey — "He has escaped the con- 
sequence of his crimes." 

ACT V — Scene I — Pauline and Moses in New York 
selling flowers — Mr. and Mrs. Hunter in search of their 
daughter — Sweetbrier discovers Mr. Hunter — Nancy's ex- 
perience with New York hackmen, etc. — Moses meets his 
mother. Scene II — Rogues' Rookery — Sweetbrier comes 
to Mr. Hunter's rescue — Meeting of Sweetbrier and her 
mother — Arrest of Nick — Reunion — Re-arrest of Sweet- 
brier. 

ACT YI — Scene I — Earle, as Lord Wayne, recog- 
nizes Sweetbrier as his wife, and the mystery is cleared 
ue — Moses tells the story of their escape. 



FUN! FUN!! FUNII! 

■ i n 

TEE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET— JUST PUBLISHED. 
ENTITLED 

■^ CAPTURED; & 

The Old Maid's Triumph. 

Four Acts— Four Male, Five Femalt Characters. 



Scenery Easily Managed. Costumes Modern. Characters all 

Good. Telling Situations. Susan Tabitha (the old Maid) 

takes the Audience by Storm, as she tries to marry 

•very man she meets; if he don't propose she 

does; final success of Susan. If you want 

a play that is full of fun, and 

sure to please you, order a 

copy of CAPTURED. 

PBIGE 15 CENTS. 

Act I.— Home of the Winchester's— Frank Westfield— Arrival 
of the ''Old Maid" ; "I'm tickled een-a-most to death to see you I" 
"Mother Goose's Melodies" — Susan's experience in the stage coach. 
"Only twenty-four, brother." — Christopher Columbus! where am I 
going?" — "I see you, Frankie." — Susan's opinion of Jane.— Pojly — 
Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield— his aston- 
ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms. — Tableau. 

Act II.— Susan's explanation.— "Slang Debolishera • Union"— 
"You'd better begin at home!" — A widower — "Good, land! if I 
could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn't feel fit to 
soar to the land of milk and honey!"— Sam Sly, Polly's lover, who 
is a widower.— "If he does not propose, I will !"— Susan and Sam 
Sly. — Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. 
Her anger, and fall.— Susan and Sly loose their wigs. 

Act III. — Joshua Pratt. — Susan's v fear of men.— ^Help! help!" 
Discovers Joshua— Kidiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. 
"There's nothing half so sweet in life, as love's young dream. "-Rats. 
"Help! thieves !"— "It might run up my leg l^The rescue- 
Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and 
get married. — The departure. 

Act IV. — Home of Susan Tabitha— Sallies-Discovery of Joshua's 
poverty— Susan's anger and disappointment— "Can we get up ?"-Susan 
cuffs Joshua's ears— Dinner — "Can we eat dinner?" — Susan relates 
her experience to Sallie— Telegram — Arrival arid cool reception of 
Charles Westfield and wife— Joshua sleeps — Susan knocks over his 
chair, pulls his hair— A bank check— Susan's promise.— Happy 
•nding. ' 



9J" 



iimes' Plays — Continued. 



^ 



31 

21 
12! 

20 
175 

s 



49 

19 

12 
188 
2211 
148 
2ls 
224 
233 
154 
184 
209 
1.1 
66 
116 
120 
103 

50 
140 

74 

35 

47 

93 

11 

99 

<2 

182 

127 

228 

U Hi 

139 

231 

235 

69 

1 

158 

23 

208 

212 

32 

186 

44 

244 

33 

246 

57 

217 

165 

195 

258 



FARCES CONTINUED. 

An Unwelcome Return 3 1 

A Pet ". tin- Public 4 2 

A Roinant c Attachment 3 3 

A Thrilling Item 3 1 

A Ticket of Leave 3 2 

Betsey Baker 2 2 

Better Halt 5 2 

Black vs. White 4 2 

Captain Smith 3 3 

Cheek Will Win 3 o 

Cupi ! s Capers 4 4 

Der Two Surprises 1 1 

Deuce is in Him 5 1 

Did I Dn am it 4 3 

J), mes ic b'elicity 1 1 

Dutch Pr.ze Fighter 3 (i 

Di'tchv vs. Nigger 3 

Eh? W at Did Vou Say 3 1 

Everybody Astonished 4 l) 

Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 

Freezing a Mother-in-!Law... 2 1 

Fun in a Post Office 4 2 

Family Discipline . M 1 

(loose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 

Give Me Mv Wife 3 3 

Han--, the Duteh J. P 3 1 

Hash 4 2 

11. M. S. Plum 1 1 

How Sister Paxey got her 

ChUd Bnptiz d 2 1 

How She has Own Way 1 3 

How lie Popped the Quc-t n. 1 1 

How t i Tame M-in-Law 4 2 

How Stout Yoiu* Getting 5 2 

In the Wrong Box 3 n 

In the Wrong Clothes 5 •". 

John Smith "> 3 

Jumbo J um 4 3 

Killing T me 1 1 

K"ttie' Wedding Cake 1 3 

Lick Skillet Wedding 2 2 

Lauderbnch's Little Surprise 3 o 

Lodgings for Two 3 o 

Matrimonial liliss 1 1 

Match tor a Mother-in-Law.. 2 2 

More Plunders than one 4 3 

Mother's Fool fi 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Pringle 7 4 

Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 1 

My Heart's in Highlands 4 3 

v y Precious Betsey 4 4 

My Turn Next 4 3 

M. Wife's Relations 4 4 

My Day and Now-a-Day? 1 

Obedience 1 2 

Ota Clothes 3 o 

On the Sly 3 2 

Othello 4 1 

Paddy Miles' Boy 5 2 

Paten' Washing Machine 4 1 

Persecuted Dutchman 6 3 

Poor Pilicody 2 3 

Prof.Bones'Latest Invention > 



NO. > r v. 

159 Quiet Family 4 4 

L71 Hough Diamond 4 3 

pples •> (i 

4S Sch aps i i 

138 Sewing Circle of P riod 5 

!l. A. M. Pinafore 3 3 

• •-> Somebody's Nobody 3 2 

24; Sports on a Lark 3 

232 Stage Struck Yank e 4 2 

2.8 Strawberry Shortcake 2 

137 Taking the Census I 1 

40 Th> t Mysterious B'die 2 2 

245 Ticket Taker 3 

38 T e lit witched Cio.«et •"> 2 

131 The Cigarette 4 2 

lt>l The Coming Man 3 1 

167 Turn H m Out 3 2 

68 The Sham Prof ssor 4 (l 

54 The Two T. J's 4 2 

2 3 i he Best Cur.,- 4 1 

28 thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 2 

142 Tit forTal 2 1 

213 Vermont Wcol Dealer '■> 3 

151 Wanted a Husband 2 1 

5 When Women Weep 3 2 

;".<) Wooing Under Difficultie 5 3 

70 Winch will he Marry 2 S 

135 Wldowei's Trials 4 5 

147 Wakirg Him Up 1 2 

155 Why they Joined the Re- 
becca- 4 

111 Yankee Duelist 3 1 

T>7 Yankee Peddler 7 3, 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

201 Academy of Stars 6 

15 An Unhnppj Pair i 1 

172 Black Shoemaker 4 2 

MS Black Statue 4 2 

222 Colored Senators 3 

214 Chops 3 ii 

L45 Cuff's Luck 2 1 

190 Crimps Trip 5 

249 Double Fleeti n 9 1 

2, Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 o 

230 Hamlet the Dainty H 1 

153 Haunted House 2 

24 Handy Andy 2 

236 Hypochondriac The 2 

247 Incompatibility of Temper... 1 2 

77 Joe's Yis t 2 1 

88 Mischievous Nigger 4 2 

256 Midnight Colie 2 1 

128 Musical Darkey 2 

259 Nobody's Moke 5 2 

90 No Cure No Pay 3, 1 

01 Not as Deaf as He Seesis 3 

234 Old Dad's Cabin 2 1 

150 OldPompey 1 1 

109 Other People's Children 3 2 

131 Pomp's Pranks 2 

177 Quarrel ome Servants 3 

93 Booms to Let 2 ] 

107 School 5 



rk 



.r6 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



Ames 



>Pi 




016 103 399 6 
□.yS-— ._■ uxx UJ.JJL LLCSLLi 



NO. M. !'■ 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES-CONT'UED. 



133 
179 

94 
25 
92 
241 
10 
64 
252 
122 
lis 
6 
108 
4 
197 
198 
170 
216 



Seeing Bosting : * 

Sham Doctor >j 3 

16,000 Years Ago 3 

Sport with a Sportsman - 

Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 



Struck by Lightning 2 

Stocks Up, Stocks Down 

That Boy Sara 

That Awful Carpet Bag 

The Select School 

The Popcorn Man 

The Studio 

Those Awful Boys 

Twain's Dodging 

Tricks 

Uncle Jetf 

U.S. Mail 

Vioe Versa 



206 
210 
203 
205 
156 



17 
l:;o 



215 



250 



260 



M. 

Villkens anil Dinah 4 

Virginia Mummv 6 

Who Stole the Chickens 1 

William Tell 4 

Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 

GUIDE BOOKS. 



Hints on Elocution. 
Hints to Amateurs.. 



CANTATA. 

On to Victory 

TABLEAUX. 

Festival of Days 

PANTOMIME. 
Cousin John's Album. 



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o>~<*^C~<e 

PREPARED WOOL. 

PEEP ABED WOOL IS AN ARTICLE THAT EVERY ONE, 

WITHOUT ANY EXPERIENCE, CAN 

MAKE INTO 

WIGS ! 

BEARDS! 

MUSTACHES ! 

ETC., ETC. 

AT VERY LITTLE COST, AND WILL BE SURE TO 
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-«M PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE. W^ 
AMES' PUBLISHING CO., 

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